Today, I'm going to talk about the problem with all the abstract talk over trans issues. It is a problem that is affecting both sides of the trans discourse at the moment.
Basically, people are arguing over philosophy, rather than over real life issues. It seems that people who are more interested in academic philosophy than in finding real life solutions to real life problems have hijacked the whole debate, and are using the debate to make their point, while making people on both sides needlessly confused and polarized.
The endless debates about 'what is a woman', whether 'gender is a social construct' and so on might be interesting for a minority of people, but they clearly have not helped us find practical solutions for real life problems. Furthermore, the needless division generated by these debates has made it harder for both sides to talk rationally and to make compromises, so that we can reach solutions that balance the needs and rights of everyone, which is what we actually need to do in reality. This is why we should abandon the abstract philosophical approach, and start looking at things from a practical point of view.
Both sides need to stop fighting and start again from a place of compassion
Compassion is the key to solving all kinds of stalemates. After all, nothing is too difficult to resolve, if you have the will. Compassion gives us both the will and the solution. Today, I'm going to talk about how compassion can help end the current stalemate and division over trans issues.
I think the biggest problem we have right now is that people on both extremes of the trans discourse aren't actually thinking about the issues from a compassionate angle. They are not thinking about it as something that impacts their fellow human beings, whose concerns deserve compassion and accommodation. Instead, both extremes are about trying to impose their ideology on society. This is why they are unwilling to consider voices and viewpoints that do not fit their pre-existing agendas. This causes an inability to compromise, or even have a civil discussion.
As I have said before, the combination of moderate conservative philosophy and compassion for disadvantaged communities can lead to a healthy, practical reformism. By embracing this combination, we can chart a middle path forward, and avoid the extremes of 'left-wing' radical deconstructionism and 'right-wing' authoritarian reactionism. Applying this to trans issues, we can see that trans radicals have erred in their ideologically driven desire to tear down the status quo. Concerns about free speech, fairness, cultural norms and parental rights are all swept aside as part of the 'transphobic' status quo. The fact that these views are rooted in long-standing values of our society and often applied to other issues too is dismissed by the radicals. They see everything in the status quo as 'oppressive', feeling well justified in their views because of the philosophical theory they have learned from thinkers, who are/were themselves out of touch with how the real world works.
And it's not as if this approach is actually compassionate towards trans people: a lot of the linguistic changes are not necessary for trans people to live fulfilling lives. The focus on abstract cultural issues distracts from effective arguments for trans acceptance. The refusal to deal with concerns from the rest of society means trans rights reforms can't gather popular support. Therefore, I would argue that such a counterproductive approach is, by definition, not very compassionate towards trans people.
A better way to approach trans issues would be to start from a place of compassion for trans people, as well as for other concerned stakeholders, and to find ways that would accommodate the needs and concerns of everyone. Firstly, what do trans people need, in order to live fulfilling lives? Reasonable accommodation measures like anti-discrimination provisions so that they have a job and have a place to live in. A guarantee of the ability to access transition health care to alleviate gender dysphoria, which should not be deliberately made difficult by culture war politicians, particularly in the case of consenting adults who have been diagnosed with gender dysphoria by their doctor. The freedom to express their gender identity, which would include not being seen as potentially 'sexual' just for doing so, like some recent anti-drag bills would imply. Some form of legal recognition and protection, so that culture war politicians can't just decide to take away their rights to score political points. Things like that. These things can actually be achieved under the existing political and cultural framework, and don't require radical changes to the status quo. Importantly, they don't impinge on free speech, and they don't prevent the legitimate discussion of the aforementioned social concerns.
On the other hand, trans people have to be compassionate towards others' concerns, at least when it comes from a place of genuine compassionate concern, as opposed to culture war point-scoring. I agree that we don't need to treat with any respect far-right commentators arguing that local communities can or should ban 'men wearing dresses'. These blatantly anti-trans and fascistic views should be legitimately shunned by those who are committed to classical liberal values. However, concerns about the erosion of language around motherhood, fairness in sports, and teenagers making irreversible decisions they might regret are a completely different matter. These concerns all arise from a place of compassion, to some extent. If we just brush them aside as 'transphobic', we would not be compassionate enough to them. My fellow trans people, I'm not saying that you need to agree with what these people are saying or the solutions they propose, I'm just saying that you need to treat their concerns with respect and empathy, rather than shout 'you're transphobic' at every turn.
I strongly believe in compassion being a two-way street. I hope society is compassionate enough towards the trans community to help us get the things we need, and in return, I practice compassion towards those with concerns about certain trans activist agendas too. This way, I hope we can get some common ground, and get to negotiate practical compromises that will address all of our concerns.
We need to be brave enough to speak the truth, even if it's unpopular
One thing that troubles me about the current state of the trans discourse is that everyone seems to be preaching to the converted. It is happening in pro-trans circles, gender critical circles and right-wing trans skeptic circles alike. Everyone seems to be about pleasing their own fellow travelers, making ever more extreme and distorted arguments in an attempt to gain popularity. I guess the unhealthy structure of social media has contributed strongly to this trend. However, we should be aware of it, and resist it as much as possible, because it is hampering us from getting to real understanding of the objective truth.
I have long been trying to convince my fellow trans people that they should listen to good faith concerns coming from the other side. I believe that, if we don't deal with these concerns seriously and thoroughly, there will be no way out of the current stalemate. Anti-trans forces, often rooted in religious fundamentalism, could then try to muddy the debate by creating moral panic after moral panic about the unresolved issues, which will erode trans acceptance over time. Therefore, for the sake of trans people's welfare, we need to deal with others' concerns in good faith. Cancel culture will get us nowhere. Yet, more than five years since I started speaking up, things are not getting any better. Extreme activists still try to cancel anyone who disagrees with them, including trans people with supposedly 'transmedicalist' views. For extreme trans activists, 'transmedicalism' is their favorite excuse for silencing their fellow trans people who want to come up with productive solutions. If a solution for compromise comes from non-trans people, they tend to reflexively label it 'transphobic' even if it's not. Cancel culture functions to keep trans people in line, so they don't speak up against the activist line, even if it is losing us support. This really must change.
On the other hand, trans skeptical circles are no better than trans activist circles when it comes to listening to dissenting voices. To put it bluntly, too many people don't really take the concerns of those with gender dysphoria seriously. They are too easily dismissive of trans people's fears that their medical treatment could be restricted. Evidence that consenting adults now find it difficult to access treatment in some places are often dismissed, by those saying that right-wing policies are only about 'protecting the kids'. As I often say, if they truly want to protect the kids, they should support professionally developed guidelines like the one they have in Sweden, rather than turning the whole issue into a political football. Conspiracy theories suggesting that there is a whole profit making industry out to encourage people to medically transition, which is fundamentally unsound by the logic of common sense, further muddy the waters, and lend unjustified credence to bad policy. The politicized, tribalist culture war approach has led to unsound policy with harmful consequences on real life trans people, and the culture warriors won't even acknowledge what is happening. This attitude, in turn, leads to even more trans people getting frustrated enough to be radicalized to the hardline trans activist side.
The two sides of the trans culture war coin keep reinforcing each other in an endless circle. The only way to break this vicious cycle is for those of us in the middle to truly listen to what people on all sides are saying, in good faith. If you prioritize your own comfort or popularity above the truth, then you're part of the problem, no matter which side you're on. We really need to resist the temptation to fit in and gain popularity within our own circles.
I want to outline my ideal vision of how trans people should be able to live in society. It's actually very simple: being trans should be a private thing. It should be between the trans individual, their doctors, their partner and their family. In the ideal world, there would be no political dimension to the trans issue at all. In fact, we were once almost there: before the so-called 'trans tipping point'. Therefore, the trick is to find our way back there, preferably the shortest way back there.
This is why I'm trying so hard to de-escalate the trans culture war, to make the issue de-politicized again. This is also what has put me at odds with the trans activist establishment, which is gearing up to fight their fight for the long term. But I don't really want to have that kind of fight at all, and I think many trans people, perhaps the silent majority, are with me here. I think we can avoid having the fight if we have some productive and rational discussions, and come up with some compromises. I think this will allow us to go back to the way things were before, and it would be better for the majority of trans people that way.
Some activists might think that they are 'brave' for taking the fight to the highest level, for their version of absolute equality or whatever. But in doing so, they are dragging every trans person into it, without their consent. I don't really think it's ethical to do so, especially since trans people already have the burden of gender dysphoria. At some point, you've got to remember that this is not just a political thing, it's a mental health thing too. If only for this reason, compromise appears to me to be a much more ethical choice.
As my regular readers would know, what I want most out of talking about trans issues is for there to be an open, rational and productive discourse on trans issues. I want the polarization and tribalism to end. I want people to be able to come up with good solutions to the stalemate we have now. Ultimately, I want the conflicts to be resolved so we can all live in peace.
This, I believe, will require everyone to step out of the culture war mindset first. People on both sides need to do this. Everyone needs to truly hear what others are saying, no matter which side they seem to be coming from. People shouldn't automatically trust the things their side is saying, and ignore voices on the other side. As someone who has been trying to sincerely listen to both sides, I know for certain that both sides are very biased right now, so anyone who predominantly listens to only one side is certainly going to have a biased view of things. And a biased view of things can only lead to the embrace of unsound ideas and policies, that will have harmful consequences one way or another. This is why we need to listen to all sides and understand the whole picture.
The other thing people need to do is to stop being too emotional. Again, from what I see, both sides are clearly guilty of this right now. Both sides can't discuss trans issues without getting emotional, and that is not good. Emotions get in the way of being objective and rational, and make us unable to think clearly. Getting emotional can also lead to dehumanizing the other side, which is dangerous territory when in comes to debating things that will affect real people in the real world. This is why we need to keep calm, despite the best efforts of extremists on both sides trying to rile up our emotions. We need to keep in mind that vested interests with their own agendas want us to get emotional so we end up blindly supporting their agendas, and we should not let them get us crazy. Again, this applies equally to both sides.
The fact is, we can't have a truly productive debate without first getting rational and objective. This is why we need to actively aim to be rational and objective. We need to brush all the culture war noise aside, and focus on what's real.
Too many people want their views to prevail at the expense of real lives
Over the past 3-5 years, I've been talking a lot about what has gone wrong with the trans discourse. While trans activists who won't compromise, postmodernists who keep arguing that gender is a social construct, extreme gender critical activists who are opposed to any recognition of trans people at all, and right-wing culture warriors who want to defeat trans rights to 'own the libs' are all major problems, they essentially represent variations of the same theme: people missing compassion. Specifically, people who hold other goals, i.e. the triumph of their philosophical worldview, as more important than real lives in the real world. And that is a basically immoral position.
If only people would treat real lives in the real world as worthy of compassion, rather than as pawns in an abstract philosophical battle, then the aforementioned extreme positions wouldn't even exist. Non-trans people would not want to 'eradicate transgenderism from public life', if they were only a bit more decent and compassionate. Likewise, trans people would be willing to listen to genuine, good faith concerns and criticism regarding trans activism, because they would also have more compassion for the concerned parties. The culture wars are making people mistrust each other, see each other in the most negative way, and ultimately lack compassion for each other. That is perhaps the real problem here.
Therefore, next time you look at trans controversies, or indeed any kind of controversy, perhaps it is useful to look at it from the compassion angle. It is definitely a refreshing way to see things. Perhaps the compassion angle can even help break some long-standing stalemates.
One thing I think people need to remember about the current state of the trans discourse is that it is being flooded with misrepresentations of the truth, and bad faith talking points, as a result of the politicized culture wars. This is being done by people on both sides with an agenda. This, in turn, is why we should never just accept what we read or hear when it comes to trans issues. I hope people think harder, and investigate at least a bit, about the various claims they come across.
Over the years, it has been noticed by many people that certain trans activists, especially those aligned with the postmodern left, have tried to shut down good faith concerns on various issues. Any deviation from their dogmatic point of view is treated with suspicion at best, and reflexively shut down as 'transphobic' at worst. The many trans people who are willing to listen to concerns and are willing to compromise are effectively left out of the debate, either because they are too afraid to speak up, or simply because they are not even invited to the table. This, in turn, has made some people think that trans people make unreasonable demands all the time, severely damaging our credibility.
On the other hand, culture warriors on the right have not been willing to work with moderate, good faith trans people who actually want to find a workable compromise to the various issues being raised either. I have been voicing my frustrations about this for over a year now, and the situation has only worsened, probably due to the need for the US Republican Party to score political points ahead of the 2024 elections. Everything that is pro-trans in any way is reflexively dismissed as 'woke', even though there are clearly a lot of trans people out there who aren't 'woke', who just want to be left alone to live their lives. Blatantly anti-trans figures like Michael Knowles and Matt Walsh are treated as 'anti-woke' heroes, notwithstanding the cruel and unreasonable approach they have to their fellow human beings. The most outrageous examples of trans activism are presented in right-wing media as representative of trans people, which has made their audience turn against the whole trans community over time. This is not only a distortion of reality, it is also very unfair to those trans people, like myself, who want to find a peaceful compromise to move forward.
All this means that, a lot of what is in the media about trans issues is actually such a misrepresentations of the truth that it is no better than outright lies, pushed in bad faith by people with an organized political agenda. The truth is, they don't want there to be good solutions to the conflicts between trans people and other parties. They want you to get outraged, so you support their outrageous politics, and stop being a caring and compassionate human being. Their propaganda is designed to turn decent, moderate people with reasonable concerns into hardened, inhumane extremists. Again, this applies to both sides. Don't let them succeed.
