What It's Like To Be Trans and Awake in 2021 | Trans Sandwiched #1

Welcome to the first ever episode of Trans Sandwiched by TaraElla. Today, I want to introduce what this thing is going to be about. Let's start here: why did I name it 'Trans Sandwiched'? It's because the fundamental experience of being trans right now, in 2021, is being eternally sandwiched between forces bigger than yourself. Forces with their own agendas, who use trans people for their own purposes, who shout louder than we ever can, because they have access to the mainstream media and other levers of power and influence. Their narratives drown out that of real trans people and their experiences struggling with gender dysphoria, and ultimately serve to confuse the conversation around trans issues among the general public. This, in turn, paralyzes any hope of progress, and even causes backlash, a backlash that is keenly felt by trans people around the world.

Let's not sugarcoat it. Being sandwiched like this is hard, sad, and frustrating. However, it has also given me some insight. This includes, most importantly, insight on why certain groups or political factions act the way they do, and what ultimately drives their agenda. My experience of being sandwiched has taught me that, often, all sides are hypocrites, who ultimately only want that one thing they are obsessed with in their mind, and they are willing to trample on other people to achieve it. What Nietzsche called 'Will To Power' is not only alive and well in the 21st century West, it is also very scary. Being trans, in our current context, has awakened me to the huge problem of agenda driven discourses and so-called movements plaguing the world around us.

My journey to understand the forces confusing the trans conversation led me to unexpected places: revolutionaries who essentially want to do the equivalent of changing the color of the sky. Reactionaries who essentially want to go back not to the 1950s, but all the way back to before the Enlightenment happened. People who believe that free speech simply isn't important at all. Other people who claim to defend free speech, but only when it's speech they like. People who think that divisive identity politics would somehow lead to liberation for all. Other people who claim to oppose identity politics but are really practicing it in stealth. This show is, to a great extent, all about these forces, their hypocrisy and logical inconsistency, and the harms they are doing to both the trans community and the wider world.

Indeed, my aim in starting this show was twofold: firstly, I wanted to improve the quality of the trans discourse, so that we get to better understanding, which is essential for progress on trans issues. I wanted to dispel the myths that are being injected into the conversation by people with their own agendas on all sides. I wanted to prevent, as much as possible, people on all sides from playing trans people like a political football. I don't know if one small project, started by one person, can really do all this. But I decided that, failing this, there would still be another reason for this show: when life gives you lemons, you make lemonade. Now that I am awake to all the toxic forces trying to shape our society, culture and politics, even if I can't stop them, maybe I could at least expose them, so more people can be awaken, like myself. That would at least make what we, as trans people in the early 21st century, are going through meaningful and productive, in some way.

A Trans Popstar's Story: Being Trans and Chasing Dreams During Quarterlife

It all began with the dream. Ever since I was young, I had wanted to be somebody who participated in the cultural conversation, rather than just observe it. I was determine to be one of those who made the culture. I didn't know what I wanted to make, I didn't know what I wanted to say, but I knew I wanted to 'join the conversation', and help shape the culture.

However, there were a few problems. Firstly, I didn't know how to get into those exclusive places where they make the culture, i.e. TV studios, Hollywood, established record labels, or at least your local radio station. I knew nobody who had any connection to that world, and it seemed like most people in that world were connected with each other. In other words, it seemed that you had to 'know the right people' to 'get the entry ticket'. Secondly, well, I'm trans. And back in the 1990s and 2000s, there certainly weren't any trans people I knew of, in those exclusive places where they made the culture. 

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Difference | Diary of a Trans Popstar

Each of us is unique and different from each other, and I think that's actually a great thing. After all, if we were all the same, life would be very boring indeed. As the saying goes, variety is the spice of life.

Having people with different views to debate, or even argue with, gives our lives meaning. Making friends with people from different cultures allows us to understand how big and diverse and wonderful the world really is. And having a group of friends with different personalities makes life and friendships interesting.

Difference is great. Let's embrace it.